Here are six to eight more of my favorite Japanese terms and phrases.
1) 鬼の居ぬ間に洗濯 (oni no inu ma ni sentaku) – This is the Japanese version of “When the cat's away, the mice will play.” But it translates more directly to, “When the monster’s away, do laundry.”
2) 栗鼠 (risu) = acorn rat = squirrel
Just so the Japanese don’t feel like I’m picking on them in my “Best Japanese Words Ever” series, here’s an example of English that boggles my mind.
While you would think the word “forgetive” would mean something like “likely to forget,” it in fact means “inventive.” What the fuck, English?
Read MoreTo settle once and for all the age old debate of which sport is better, football or soccer, I argued the topic with my Irish friend, Seamus. (While you’d think his name would be pronounced SEA-mus, it’s actually pronounced SHAY-mus. Aren’t Europeans cute?).
With Seamus fighting for soccer and the loveable Johnny Box brawling on behalf of NFL football, we both finished with bloody knuckles and noses, but in the end, only the indisputable champion was left standing.
Read MoreDear U.S. Porn,
I will begin and end this letter with a question.
When a train that you would like to get on stops and the doors open, do not immediately thrust yourself onto the train. Instead, dipshit, stand to the side of the doors so that people wishing to get off the train may do so.
Note that in addition to being courteous, this has the added benefit of allowing space on the train for you. You fucking retard.
Read MoreJune 12, 2018; The New Yorke Times
The Swedish Academy that awards the Nobel Prize for Literature says that it won’t announce a winner this year because of a scandal over sexual misconduct.
On the back of the Me Too movement, 18 women have come forward claiming sexual assault and physical abuse against the husband of one of the Academy members, causing her to resign. Several others have followed suit.
Read MoreWhen walking in public, if you rarely find yourself frustrated by some mouth-breathing idiot in your way, chances are you’re the mouth-breathing idiot. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you be less of a dipshit.
I realize that it’s hard to remember that there are other people in this world, and I realize that you’re engrossed in whatever assinine conversation you’re having with
Read MoreJune 8th, 2018
From this day forward it is permissible, unassailable, and encouraged to smack, hit, roundhouse kick or otherwise jar a mobile phone, game console, camera or any other hand-held device out of the hand of any dipshit walking while staring at it; provided, however, that any human, animal, robot or other being who walks while staring at a handheld device shall be considered a ‘dipshit’ for the purpose of this decree regardless of IQ and any and all other factors.
Read MoreWhile I love rooting for the U.S. during the Olympics - mainly because we kick so much ass - why should I care more about some person I've never met in West Virginia than I do for some person I've never met in Guangzhou?
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