2021 - There's Never Been A Better Time To Be Alive

It’s March 2021, and there’s never been a better time to be alive.

Almost all of us have been in a tremendous funk, feeling like complete dogshit for what seems like ages as we’ve been suffering through a pandemic, climate change catastrophes, and the fucking Trump presidency.

But like they say, it’s always darkest before the dawn. Wait a sec. Is it? That can’t be right. That sounds retarded. It’s not pitch black moments before the sun peaks over the horizon. It’s gradual. Another dumbshit saying. Are they all nonsensical when we put even the slightest bit of thought into them?! Regardless, in this case, it’s true.

Here are 3 reasons why:

#1 - We’re Kicking Covid in the Cunt!

This year, we’ll be kissing the pandemic goodbye. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Covid. Despite the death toll surpassing 500,000 in the US alone, the vaccination process continues to gain momentum and the end is in sight. I cannot overstate what an accomplishment it will be for mankind to snuff out a kind of modern day plague in under two years. It’s supposed to take like seven years just to develop a vaccine. Hooray, humans! Suck it, Covid!

#2 - We’re Saving the Earth!

After Trump did his damdest to destroy the Earth as we know it by pulling the US out of the Paris Climate Agreement, by trying to make coal great again, and by trying to rekindle air pollution, among other things, the Biden administration is reversing all of that bullshit and huge corporations have been announcing pledges to be carbon neutral by 2050 or earlier (for example, IBM, Apple, Microsoft by 2030; Amazon by 2040 etc).

Even oil and coal companies are beginning to shift to green energy which will actually create jobs, not destroy them. And not only that, those jobs will be much safer and better paying. Two reasons why fatcats have been paying big bucks to trick common folk into thinking that they love coal. (Sorry, if you were duped, evidenced by say voting for trump, you’re common at best. Deal with it.)

And governments and big investors are finally hearing the people’s cries and are taking action. The former through policy and the latter by shifting their investments to green-friendly companies. Supposably.

#3 - Drugs!

More and more US states are decriminalizing marijuana! And the whole country of Mexico just passed legislation to legalize it. 2021 is the year to not only spark up a joint, but to further inform our leaders that we want everything decriminalized. We want studies on everything from cocaine to peyote to crystal meth. We want to know exactly what MDMA can do as a treatment for PTSD. We want textbooks and videos teaching everyone what each drug actually does to us, and most importantly, how much we can take. Politicians will be thanking us when the tax revenue from drugs means we can stop taxing incomes. Stop punishing me for making money, you pork monsters!

Anyhoo, 2021 is also awesome because social causes like Black Lives Matter are making serious headway on the path to equality, technology continues to make everything better and easier (VR porn on my iPhone?! Are you fucking kidding me?!!!), and we never ever have to see Dumpy Trumpy and his orange-make-up face again.

All that’s left to be done to really fix the world and set us on a path to prosperity for all is for us to take money out of politics. (See my How To Save The World page.)

Kan-fucking-pai to 2021!!!

***For notifications of new Great White Host blog posts & pee-your-pants awesome promos, sign up to Box’s Bullet, my monthly e-newsletter, via the sign-up box in the sidebar. It’s probably located below on smartphones.***